Feb
08
GOP gets Undercover Boss
Part 1 in a series
By Katie Kieffer
The GOP is at risk of losing key votes from young people. Young professionals are considered “swing voters” or “Supervoters” because of their powerful ability to determine elections.
I know jealousy is wrong, so I was trying to preoccupy myself instead of visualizing the Vince Lombardi Trophy in Brett Favre’s hands after yesterday’s Super Bowl game. My distraction of choice was to sort through a pile of research I’ve been collecting on young voters and the GOP, while watching the intriguing first episode of Undercover Boss.
Feb
05
5 Super Bowl Party Ideas
By Katie Kieffer
The Vikings didn’t make the Super Bowl this year. You can still have an awesome Super Bowl Sunday. Instead of apathetically watching the Colts steamroll the Saints, take my suggestions to increase the “fun factor” at your Super Bowl party.
Pre Game
You could listen to dancing-sensation, Katie Couric, interview President Obama before the Super Bowl. Or, you could ignore politicians who are trying to control college football, act as sports commentators and snag prime pre-Super Bowl slots instead of focusing on their real job. (We all know Underwear Bombers could care less about football.)
Feb
03
Liberals, ride in my Ferrari!
By Katie Kieffer
Anti-business liberals, come jump in my Ferrari! I’ll take you for the ride of your life. Please bring your motion sickness bags. You will become nauseous during this ride.
Yes, it’s a nice car and, yes, I’m a good driver. But, when I drive, I blast one song over and over again: “Main Street Loves Wall Street.” You may be my guest, but I pick the tunes.
Feb
01
Michael the Gold Digger
By Katie Kieffer
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and everyone wants to talk about love.
This weekend, my sister, Amie, and I were out at a local bar and we overheard a group of young guys discussing the covert relationship of another bar patron, Michael Moore. I was disappointed to hear that Moore was still sneaking around after he nearly publicly professed his love for capitalism at my New Year’s Eve party. I didn’t want to catch Moore’s attention by taking a photo, so Amie used her ever-present mini sketch pad to draw what we witnessed (see below).
Jan
28
Tim Tebow terrifies feminists
By Katie and Amie Kieffer
Heisman Trophy winner and Florida Gators quarterback, Tim Tebow, is a favorite heading into the NFL spring draft. A favorite among football fans and pro-life Americans, that is. Puppy-faced Tebow, who loves his mom and isn’t afraid to hug her in public, is on the receiving end of trash-talking, bitter feminists.
Jan
27
Homeless haute couture
By Katie Kieffer
Homeless haute couture. Doesn’t that sound sweet? What could be more loving than clothing the poor and destitute on the streets?
The answer, sadly, is anything but homeless haute couture. Homeless haute culture is nothing more than a safe layer of wearable bubble-wrap for elite paper gangsters to profit from poverty and ignore reality.
Jan
26
Kieffer Twins Debate: Is ‘capitalism’ a swear word?
By Katie Kieffer
The college football season and the Minnesota Vikings brought me excitement galore this year – including a friendly debate with my roommate and identical “twin” sister, Blair. She and I did not have much in common (beyond our appearance) until we had this debate one Saturday afternoon. Hopefully you will enjoy watching this video of the Kieffer Twins locking horns over the true meaning of the word “capitalism.”
Jan
21
Rachelize our recession
By Katie Kieffer
The answer to ending the U.S. recession comes straight from the horse’s mouth: “Rachelize it.”
No, I’m not calling Rachel Green a horse or suggesting Rachel Uchitel could solve our monetary affairs even better than she could pull off an affair with Tiger. I’m talking about sitting down in the stable and listening to the real stories of Rachel Alexandra. This bay filly racehorse – voted Horse of the Year by a wide margin – has some advice on how the U.S. can pull off the biggest win for the economy.
Jan
20
Winning Monopoly on Fun
By Katie Kieffer
If you’re sick and tired of paying back your college loans – or, your tuition payments – here’s a tip: Don’t expect to get a bailout from the government. It’s bankrupt already. The real way to get your bailout is to win the collegiate community’s little political game. I teamed up with Parker Brothers and we’re calling the game “Monopoly on Fun.”
I created this game out of selfish motives. Basically, I would like to start getting Christmas and birthday presents again. I’m tired of my friends excusing their penny-pinching and re-gifting on their high tuition payments or their massive college loans.
Jan
18
Swindling beer money
By Katie Kieffer
Stealing beer money from college students can be like taking candy from a baby. Many keg-standing freshmen expertly hide their spare change from shady roommates, prying parents and parasitic friends, but helplessly hand over their weekend slush funds to the U Bandit.
Not every college has a U Bandit, but many do. I personally dodged the bullet, but only because I made a lucky bet. Here’s my story of escape and the tragedy of real victims:
