By Katie Kieffer
Anti-business liberals, come jump in my Ferrari! I’ll take you for the ride of your life. Please bring your motion sickness bags. You will become nauseous during this ride.
Yes, it’s a nice car and, yes, I’m a good driver. But, when I drive, I blast one song over and over again: “Main Street Loves Wall Street.” You may be my guest, but I pick the tunes.
I know you really want to ride in my car – not because you like my politics – but because it’s such a hot car. It’s irresistible. But, be warned, this song is about how Wall Street is an unsung hero in America. I wrote it. I belt it. I bump it.
You still want to ride with me? OK. Fine. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you. And, whatever you do, please do NOT throw up on my upholstery or you’ll be sitting by the side of the road faster than you can say “Prius.”
Seat-belts everyone? We’re off! Time to sing along with me in my Ferrari!
Lyrics for “Main Street Loves Wall Street”
Hang on liberals, don’t pull out your hair
I hear Main Street’s got a thing for bulls and bears
But bonuses restricted, tied up in stock, the white collars can’t afford
Doormen and waiters and taxi-drivers en masse
Fine restaurant owners are wringing their hands as they fail to reap
Profits from bankers who once splurged on $2K corks and high roller steaks
Wall Street gets beat up by politicians who invented Ben Nelson Bribery
While Wall Street keeps Main Street in business Monday through Friday
The public lacks sympathy for stressed workers at Jersey Ferrari
But that’s ’cause the media won’t tell us
How many supercar jobs are in peril when the shady Pay Czar is a-roaming
I’m tired of politicians messing with the markets and then blaming our bankers
Clinton-era policies set up real estate and finance pros for unscrupulous failure
Grow up, Washington
Leave Wall Street alone
‘Cause things were better when Reagan let the free markets roam
Thanks for riding with me! Please join me again soon.
Ferrari images 1 and 2: Oliver Walston / lussoluxury.com