Monthly Archives: July 2011

Jul
25

Rupert Murdoch plays fair

By Katie Kieffer Soldier Field, Chicago When arch rivals like the Chicago Bears and the Green Bay Packers go head-to-head, anything is fair game. Except cheating. Winning is the end-goal, but neither team will knowingly jeopardize its NFL standing. There’s not a lot of love between the Bears and the Packs. This January, when the teams played each other in the NFC championship for the first time since 1941, we witnessed overblown name-calling and pompous chest-pounding.

Continue reading

Posted in Economy, Entertainment & Culture, Free Speech, Humor, Law, Sports | Comments Off

Jul
18

Skyscraper impetus creates jobs

By Katie Kieffer Los Angeles skyline at night When Michael Moore looks at a skyscraper, he sees a bloated monument to rich investors. He becomes nauseous and his lunch floats back up into his throat as he imagines the tenants who can afford Class A rent: Tenants like a semi-retired banker and his entrepreneurial son who watch the sun rise from their 92nd floor office suite while their assistant pours cold, crystal-clear water into tall glasses holding cucumber slices. “Hmmm, how can I knock that tower down and humble those richies?” Moore wonders to himself. “I certainly can’t push it over. I’d have to give up my breakfast of chocolate covered bacon and hit the gym every morning. Way too much work for a big boy like me. … I’ve got it! I’ll ask the President to push for eliminating the carried interest tax break!”

Continue reading

Posted in Economy, Humor, Law | 1 Comment

Jul
11

Agency girl goes wild

2011 Edition

By Katie Kieffer Girl in jeans Elizabeth Warren has literally gone wild. No, she did not strip off her matronly suit on a Girls Gone Wild spring break tour bus. Rather, she appears to be on a mission to strip Congress, small businesses and individual Americans of authority by instituting her own rules for how to play the financial game on both Wall Street and Main Street. Liberals in the media hail Warren as the “protector of the middle class.” Warren may genuinely care about the middle class. Her own mantra is: “Dang gummit, somebody has got to stand up on behalf of the middle class!” Sadly, she does not understand the free markets that prevent the middle class from slipping into poverty.

Continue reading

Posted in Economy, Humor, Law | 2 Comments

Jul
04

Set off Katy Perry fireworks

By Katie Kieffer Pink fireworks Imagine this: It’s the Fourth of July. You are a notorious pyro and your frightened neighbor lady sways you into reading my column on her flashy new iPad to temporarily distract you from setting up your annual fireworks display. As you read this, she is “accidentally” dropping her garden hose, running full blast, on the pile of fireworks you’ve been stashing up all year. Yes, by now, your fireworks are wet garbage. Don’t panic. Keep reading. Trust me, she’s not as sneaky as she thinks. I’ll tell you how to ignite your neighborhood with a show like it has never seen before. You won’t even need to make an emergency run to the tent down the street selling fireworks.

Continue reading

Posted in Economy, Entertainment & Culture, Humor | Comments Off