May
11
2015

Democrat Grandma’s Advice for Hillary: Eat Your Mealworms!

By Katie Kieffer

Hillary Clinton

Image credit: Hillary Clinton in Hampton, NH by Marc Nozell on Flickr via Creative Commons.

Like Eleanor Roosevelt, Hillary Clinton eats expensive steak—while expecting poor Americans to munch on mealworms.

I recently sat down with my Grandma Lee to ask her about growing up during the Great Depression. You see, as a Millennial, I empathize with my generation’s historic struggle to find jobs. I thought my grandmother—a former Democrat—would have some advice for my generation. 55 percent of Millennials intend to vote Democratic in 2016 and the largest subset of those voters (47 percent) lean toward Hillary Clinton, according to the latest Harvard research. This is because Millennials do not yet realize the connection between Clinton’s policies and their joblessness.

Grandma Lee told me how her mother Lizzy (my Great Grandmother) raised seven children alone on a South Dakota farm without any government assistance. Her husband died shortly after the seventh child was born during a sinus operation. Without a man by her side to help run the farm, Great Grandma Lizzy was forced to rely on herself and God.

Roadside bandits waited until she and her children left for Sunday Mass and then killed her dog and pilfered her gas supply; hail and freezing temperatures devastated her crops; and even many in-laws refused to lend a helping hand.

Meanwhile, First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt was on the other side of the country—living the life of a celebrity. Roosevelt hosted a controversial radio show purporting to proffer hope and unity to Americans struggling through the Great Depression and WWII. Roosevelt raked in $3,000 in ad revenue per show. According to American RadioWorks this was “more than $50,000 in today’s [2014] dollars when adjusted for inflation. That was more than the average American worker made all year.”

So, one day, Great Grandma Lizzy was listening to Roosevelt’s radio show. Grandma Lee was about 14 years old and distinctly recalls her mother’s reaction when the First Lady asked Americans over the airwaves to help the country save on coffee supplies (which were already rationed) by using their coffee grounds twice. Great Grandma Lizzy retorted, “She can use her coffee grounds twice but I won’t—and I’m sure she won’t.”

“Mother was a strict Democrat until she died. She wasn’t saying that because she was trying to run down the Democrats. She was broad-minded. In those days, the Democrats were more conservative than today’s Republicans. Coffee was the only thing Mother spent money on for herself. She didn’t allow herself any special treats because she was trying to raise seven children,” recalls my Grandma Lee.

So what does this story have to do with presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton? Well, Mrs. Clinton has a cozy relationship with former secretary general of the United Nations, Kofi Annan. On his website, Annan proudly shares an article describing how “His friend Bill Clinton” went to bat for him when he felt attacked by the media for his oversight of the Oil For Food Programme (OIP).

Bill Clinton introduced OIP when he was President of the U.S. and while Annan helmed the U.N. The program’s stated goal was to provide humanitarian aid to Iraqi civilians. However, under Annan’s leadership, both the UN and the OIP were embroiled in successive scandals. A 2005 Volker Commission report found that the food “was unfit for human consumption.” Meanwhile, U.N. peacekeepers were discovered to be raping and forcing girls into prostitution.

Never one to let a man who abuses women derail her ascent to political power, Hillary has stood by both her husband and Annan. She’s been outspoken about her admiration for Annan, who she says “tirelessly” works to promote global peace.

Last fall, Bill and Hillary Clinton posed for the cameras while frying steaks at a Democratic fundraiser. This seemed a bit odd given that PETA has named Bill “Person of the Year” for his vegan diet which he has confessed to cheating on—eating fish, omelets and even “bites” of turkey, ham and steak. PETA does not seem concerned that Clinton’s definition of “bite” could mean a mounded plateful—given his penchant for redefining English words such as “is.”

Last week, the Clinton’s friend Annan announced that humans should start eating more insects as a way to reduce global warming. Annan claims “insects have a very good conversion rate to meat.”

According to a UN report, the protein content of “mealworms” is particularly “comparable” to that of fish and meat. I did the math, and Annan’s claim is true—but very impractical in the real world, especially for poor people who don’t have the luxury of hiring a personal insect chef.

One mealworm weighs approximately 130 mg. This means you’d have to eat 873 mealworms to get the equivalent protein of a quarter-pounder. Consuming 873 mealworms in one sitting is unrealistic given that Purdue University professor and insect expert Tom Turpin told the New York Times that the best way to scoff the sordid insects is “with one hand over [your] eyes.” On top of their stomach-churning appearance, mealworms make for high maintenance cooking. Humans could go extinct if we expect a poor family of four to fry 3,492 mealworms, three times a day.

When Hillary wants to befriend midwestern farmers, she fries steak. In truth, she and her husband are best buds with a crony environmentalist who wants us to eat more insects. Kofi Annan, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton rake in awards like the Nobel Peace Prize while pushing so-called universal healthcare and meat-free diets that kill jobs and raise the cost of living for the poor.

If Great Grandma Lizzy were alive today, she’d say: “Eat your mealworms, Hillary!

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Comments...

  1. Peyton says:

    Fabulous column. Go Grandma Lizzy!

  2. Marie Frances says:

    "She can use her coffee grounds twice…."

    Love it:)

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