By Katie Kieffer

Dr. Seuss’ new book, “What Pet Should I Get?” inspired me to write a Seuss-style poem from the perspective of a mother who wants a gun to defend her family.

My poem is a plea for 2nd Amendment rights in the wake of recent mass tragedies committed by Dylann Roof, Mohammad Youssef Abdulazeez and John Houser. As you know, I’ve written many columns in defense of gun rights. However, given last week’s tragic shooting in a Louisiana movie theater, I will try reaching hearts and minds by presenting my facts in a more creative way.

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By Katie Kieffer

Cartoon copyright Amie Kieffer 2015. All rights reserved.

I have a list of reasons why you can trust Planned Parenthood.

By now, you’ve probably seen the viral video starring Planned Parenthood executive Dr. Deborah Nucatola. In the undercover clip, made by the Center for Medical Progress, Dr. Nucatola gushes about performing abortions in such a way so as to carefully and fatally “crush” fetuses while preserving specific body parts like “fetal livers” which are popular on Planned Parenthood’s secretive “menu” of harvesting options.

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By Katie Kieffer

I know her secret, I know she’s scared, and I know what she did last summer.

If you need something lighthearted to pick yourself up and get back into work after a long holiday weekend, I’ll give you a column that would more humorous if it weren’t so close to the truth. It’s the story about what Lois Lerner and her new bestie, Hillary Clinton, did last summer.

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By Katie Kieffer

Black pop star Rihanna wins awards and makes millions for wearing guns in public while everyday black Americans risk losing their jobs if they dare to exercise their 2nd Amendment right.

Are you growing tired of seeing wealthy black Americans get by with things that cause middle class black Americans to lose their jobs or go to prison? Things like carrying firearms, flying the Confederate flag or doing drugs.

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By Katie Kieffer

You need a girl’s consent, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo tells rapists. If she says “yes,” it’s not rape—it’s “affirmative consent.”

“Affirmative consent” is pivotal to Cuomo’s new plan to stop college rape. His plan consists of giving a legislative PowerPoint to rapists that defines rape in crystal clear terms. Cuomo maintains that once rapists understand what rape is—ta da!—they will never rape again.

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By Katie Kieffer

White girls like Rachel Dolezal and black girls like Dajerria Becton go wild without the presence of strong father figures.

No one knows why Rachel Dolezal—a 37-year-old adult Caucasian woman—pretended to be black for the past 20 years. No one understands this woman’s full motivation for falsifying her heritage, donning wigs and feigning her adopted African American brother is her biological son.

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By Katie Kieffer

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If you love your child, and I know you do, it’s time to say “bye bye” to the social pacifier that is free universal preschool.

I understand. It’s tempting. Whether you’re a destitute single mother or an affluent married father, you’re a parent. And parents often feel wiped out. Especially in this economy. Sure, Michelle Obama has christened this the era of a “huge recovery,” but she’s not in the trenches like you—juggling the stress of being a provider and a caregiver for a 4-year-old.

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By Katie Kieffer

If you love In-N-Out burgers and care about the workers who flip your burgers, then you should support a minimum wage of $0.

Deep down, I know you’re tired of seeing actors jump up and down for TV cameras while waving professional signs that read: “McGreedy! McStingy! McPoverty!” or “McShame. McDonald’s. Raise That Wage.”

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By Katie Kieffer

Eight people died on an Amtrak train last week, and New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio took selfies at the crash scene. He wasn’t literally holding a selfie stick and saying “Cheese!” But he certainly found a way to transform the tragedy into a political opportunity for himself.

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By Katie Kieffer

My Great Grandmother Lizzy, a lifelong Democrat, would have choice words for Hillary Clinton.

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