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Speech, April 16, 2015
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Category Archives: Energy
It’s harvest time! But oil shipments out of the Bakken are causing dangerous and costly rail delays for farmers.
The oil boom in the Northern Plains is a boon to the U.S. economy, creating thousands of jobs and increasing our supply of American energy. With nearly 3 million Americans out of work, the Bakken is like a pool of cool water in an arid desert. Continue reading
Fracking in the state of Colorado during the year 2012 created 111,000 jobs whereas Barack Obama’s entire economy has only generated 110,000 jobs for Millennials since 2007.
What is wrong with our president? Does he suffer from a migraine headache or is he simply refusing to think straight? His administration is spending up to $1,000 a day caring for illegal immigrant children carrying measles, mumps, scabies, lice, chicken pox, strep throat and tuberculosis. Meanwhile, legal American citizens with law degrees are living with their parents and struggling to find jobs that even pay minimum wage. Continue reading
There’s hope for the future. My generation of Millennials is embracing entrepreneurial oil jobs to keep America’s lights on.
On June 2, the Obama administration proposed new carbon regulations calling for a 30 percent reduction in carbon emissions by 2030. Why 2030? Who knows! It’s an arbitrary date, not a number based on sound science. Continue reading
74-year-old Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid suffers from dementia. He’s spent half a century in politics. You may feel for him, but it’s time for him to retire.
Reid has a growing tendency to forget basic facts. If this is due to dementia, he should leave public office because it is not fair to those of us who are paying him to work efficiently. However if he does not have dementia, then he is simply dishonest. Continue reading
Recycling is fine. Conservation is fine. But sometimes greenies cross the line. They expect you and me to go jobless and hungry so they can save a porcupine.
President Obama has been pampering his radical greenie friends for far too long. Even the President’s State Department has thrice declared Keystone XL to be environmentally safe. Let’s build it already. Continue reading
Some like it hot. Some like it cold. And the Tea Party likes it red-hot, as in, red states. Three energetic Tea Party candidates are heating up to beat RINOs and help return the U.S. Senate to a true conservative majority.
Rhinoceros horn is popular in Asia for its purported healing powers. Asian demand sends poachers to Africa to hunt the endangered animal. Last November, one Hong Kong poacher surrendered $2 million of illegal rhino horn to authorities. In the GOP, however, RINOs (Republicans In Name Only) are losing popularity. The RINO’s “horn” is compromise and Americans are tired of compromises like Obamacare. Americans want politicians who will just say “no” to socialism. Continue reading
Me: “I’ll take a ‘Coal and Rum.’”
Bartender: “What’s that?”
Me: “I’m protesting the EPA.”
Bartender: “Got it. Awesome. Your drink is on the house.”
Coal is my lifestyle. Coal allows me to turn darkness into light at the flip of a switch. Coal allows me to brew a cup of coffee, toast a bagel and pour a class of refrigerated orange juice in minutes. Coal lets me text friends and find directions from my fully-charged iPhone. Coal grants me the ability to use machines to wash and dry my week’s laundry pile while I run on my treadmill. Coal allows me to heat my Minneapolis bedroom to a balmy 72 degrees while snow and freezing winds pelt the roof. Basically, coal means that Americans like you and me can live like kings and queens on a pauper’s budget. Continue reading
A plumpish girl making pizzas behind a counter methodically spreads red sauce on a circle of dough as she vents loudly to the cashier: “Do you drink soda pop? No? Well, I do. They say that pop makes you gain weight. I always gain weight from stress and I’m so stressed out. I don’t have enough money. I need a car for college and I can’t afford one. And gas is outrageous. It’s like $5! I mean, I could buy a bike for $5!”
A few minutes later, the girl hands me my oven-ready pizza without looking up. She is visibly distraught. I feel bad for her as I walk away thinking, “Thanks for ruining our economy, President Obama.”
America is showing her age. She had fun spending Sugar Daddy China’s cash; now she’s broke, tired and weak. Sadly, there’s no quick fix—no fancy wrinkle cream—that can erase decades of fiscal abuse from America’s face. To revive her youthful foundation in constitutional freedom America must take dramatic steps. It’s time for America to go under the knife; it’s time to call Dr. Babyface.
Dr. Babyface is a “plastic surgeon” otherwise known as yours truly. Except I don’t inject Botox into aging celebrities. Rather, I inject radical doses of freedom into aging governments. Here’s Dr. Babyface’s three-step prescription to revive America:
I want a coal plant for Christmas, and not because I’m a naughty girl. I want lots of coal so I can power up the high-tech toys Santa is bringing me, including an electronic robot maid that cooks and cleans, a 32-meter-wide TV and a modern, coal-fired steam locomotive that allows me to bypass the TSA Grope Squad when I travel cross-country.
OK, so Santa probably won’t be sending a full-size, coal-fired train down my chimney. But, like many of you, I may be getting small electronics for Christmas (or Hanukkah). As millions of us ring in the New Year by adding new gadgets to the power grid, we need to make sure we have ample electricity to fire up our cutting-edge iPads, TVs, sound systems and smartphones.
Americans get almost half of their electricity from coal. I think coal is a wonderful source of energy and we need to continue producing it.