Here are twelve comical but true resolutions that every liberal should make for 2013:
1.) Resolve to spend time with gun-owners. I have a liberal friend who says she would rather be in the same room as a cobra snake than a gun, even an unloaded gun. Guns really, really scare her. But guns don’t kill. People kill. Whether the tool is a gun or a knife or a baseball bat, unconscionable people kill, not the inanimate objects in their hands. Continue reading
Need a fun Halloween costume idea? If you long for sound money, the return of the gold standard and eliminating the unconstitutional Federal Reserve, then this gold coin costume is for you. Continue reading
Every year, my talented sister, Amie, develops a cartoon showcasing a fun Halloween costume idea that sends a free-markets message and reflects current events. Her previous costumes include the Sexy Acorn (to draw attention to ACORN’s child sex scandal) and the Hot Teapot (to laud the everyday Americans fighting for Constitutional principles within the Tea Party movement).
This year, we chose to honor the entrepreneurial spirit of the late Steve Jobs with the Unbelievable Apple. (Jobs frequently used the word “unbelievable” to describe Apple products.)
By Katie Kieffer When arch rivals like the Chicago Bears and the Green Bay Packers go head-to-head, anything is fair game. Except cheating. Winning is the end-goal, but neither team will knowingly jeopardize its NFL standing. There’s not a lot of love between the Bears and the Packs. This January, when the teams played each other in the NFC championship for the first time since 1941, we witnessed overblown name-calling and pompous chest-pounding.
By Katie Kieffer When Michael Moore looks at a skyscraper, he sees a bloated monument to rich investors. He becomes nauseous and his lunch floats back up into his throat as he imagines the tenants who can afford Class A rent: Tenants like a semi-retired banker and his entrepreneurial son who watch the sun rise from their 92nd floor office suite while their assistant pours cold, crystal-clear water into tall glasses holding cucumber slices. “Hmmm, how can I knock that tower down and humble those richies?” Moore wonders to himself. “I certainly can’t push it over. I’d have to give up my breakfast of chocolate covered bacon and hit the gym every morning. Way too much work for a big boy like me. … I’ve got it! I’ll ask the President to push for eliminating the carried interest tax break!”
By Katie Kieffer Elizabeth Warren has literally gone wild. No, she did not strip off her matronly suit on a Girls Gone Wild spring break tour bus. Rather, she appears to be on a mission to strip Congress, small businesses and individual Americans of authority by instituting her own rules for how to play the financial game on both Wall Street and Main Street. Liberals in the media hail Warren as the “protector of the middle class.” Warren may genuinely care about the middle class. Her own mantra is: “Dang gummit, somebody has got to stand up on behalf of the middle class!” Sadly, she does not understand the free markets that prevent the middle class from slipping into poverty.
By Katie Kieffer Imagine this: It’s the Fourth of July. You are a notorious pyro and your frightened neighbor lady sways you into reading my column on her flashy new iPad to temporarily distract you from setting up your annual fireworks display. As you read this, she is “accidentally” dropping her garden hose, running full blast, on the pile of fireworks you’ve been stashing up all year. Yes, by now, your fireworks are wet garbage. Don’t panic. Keep reading. Trust me, she’s not as sneaky as she thinks. I’ll tell you how to ignite your neighborhood with a show like it has never seen before. You won’t even need to make an emergency run to the tent down the street selling fireworks.
By Katie Kieffer
The latest Pew Research Center poll shows that young people (ages 18 – 28) are happier now than they have been in over 30 years. Why is this? Aren’t we in the middle of a financial meltdown in America? Aren’t the costs of living going up? Aren’t young people losing their jobs? If you are down on America or down on your life, I’ll help you change your mindset to match that of today’s youth. I promise you, you’ll be happier for it.
I believe young people today are happier for two reasons: First, most Millennials want to live more like grownups and less like their parents who sometimes act like babies. And, second, they understand and are excited by the opportunities America has to rebound out of recession and back to greatness. Let me explain: Continue reading
By Katie Kieffer
It’s game night everyone! You won’t win a fake prize like a pile of plastic tokens or a stack of paper money. In this game, you win the real deal: Jobs. So, bring your friends and get ready to go from mopey paupers to upbeat workers.
I invented the game “Job Trap” when I realized that Mouse Trap was a waste of time and that I’d have more fun accomplishing something in life than fighting my friends for cheese-shaped tokens. I thought about the biggest economic problem in the U.S. today, the high unemployment rate, and decided to create a game to fix this problem. Here’s how you play: Continue reading
By Katie Kieffer
My 2011 New Year’s Eve Party was crashed. Let me rephrase that: My plans to host a 2011 New Year’s Eve party were foiled. This year, I was expecting over 700 guests to my humble abode on 1776 Capitalist Curve. Last year, I hosted a New Year’s Eve party that included a celebrity mixologist and gastropub chef, live music, helicopter rides, overnight accommodations and breakfast the next morning. Well, my 2011 party was going to make that party seem like a yawn.
This week, my guest list of over 700 dwindled down to a sad 37 due to the NYE Party Crashers. They “pre-crashed” my party by sending the foul weather that stranded my East Coast friends and delayed or canceled flights for my friends throughout the rest of the country. They sent the foul winter storms that are preventing my friends in Moscow, London and Frankfurt from traveling. And, now, they are warning of a blizzard for New Year’s Eve in Minnesota, where I live. Continue reading