Feb
16

Shred recession to gnar gnar

By Katie Kieffer

Image credit: Red Bull

Image credit: Red Bull

Wouldn’t it be fun to shred the U.S. recession into oblivion the way a skier shreds the Jackson Hole gnar gnar? It would be as exhilarating as finding a cure to cancer – on an economic level.  Well, the U.S. does have a nearly fail-proof template to follow for ending the recession and creating jobs: Lindsey Vonn.

Vonn is often hyped for her amicable personality and good looks. Lost in this hype is the bigger story: the tale of sheer American grit, rugged persistence, sacrifice and goal-focus. Vonn’s story shows that America can shrug off her recession if she acts like a champion.

Many athletes at one point appeared to be all-around champions, and then disappointed, such as Tiger Woods, Mark McGwire and Marion Jones. But, Vonn is the template we’re looking for. Below is her recipe for bouncing out of recession. Let’s rip.

Champions race when it hurts.

There is a disease in America called apathy. Symptoms include a lack concern for anything deeply meaningful. Apathy is different from liberalism. It is disengagement from the entire civic arena. When you hear someone say something like,”I don’t get into politics. It stresses me out. Besides, Jersey Shore makes me happy,” they’re probably apathetic. We cannot bounce out of recession if we sit and widen our bums while China’s economy grows. We need to get up and take action. A fall, even as big as our economy has taken, is no excuse to disengage.AUSTRIA ALPINE SKIING WORLD CUP

When Vonn crashed in the 2006 Torino Olympics and was helicoptered away, she was visited by her life-long idol, three-time Olympian, Picabo Street, in the hospital.  Street bluntly told Vonn, “A real champion would get up and race.” Vonn proved her metal by racing two days later in excruciating pain and still finishing eighth overall.

When Vonn fell again in the Feb. 2, 2010 pre-Vancouver Olympics practice run in Austria and badly bruised her shin, she didn’t have a bailout. As loved as she is, there was no sponsor, no coach, no friend who could do it for her. Last week in Vancouver, she was not even able to take an injection to fully dull her pain, but has had to suffer through with ordinary painkillers to avoid violating Olympic antidoping guidelines. Still, she plans to grit her teeth, and race.

Likewise, the U.S. can stand up and race her way back to the top if she is able to handle some pain and stops trying to mask it with government stimulus packages, proven to fail.

Champions are coachable

Don’t hunch over,” Street recalls telling the young Vonn. “Stand up straight. Stand tall. Be proud.” Vonn has made a concerted effort throughout her career to reach out to other champion skiers, like Street, and model her game after their success. Once-respected champions like Tiger Woods fell from favor with fans and sponsors partly because they became so self-absorbed that they forgot to listen to reason and wisdom.

Vonn is almost always accompanied by her husband, coach and spokesman, Thomas Vonn. Rather than imitating Woods and filling her mobile phone with the contacts of hot ski-patrols, Vonn works hand-in-hand with Thomas Vonn to achieve success. Vonn also has a deep respect for other members of her “team,” including her ski technician and communicates frequently and openly with them.

Lindsey and Thomas Vonn. Image: Clive Rose/Getty Images North America.

Lindsey and Thomas Vonn. Image: Clive Rose/Getty Images North America.

Similarly, the U.S. could recover from economic wipe-out if our elected officials would start listening to their best coaches, constituents. Americans are tired of government spending, bribery and growth. We want the government to start listening to us, and to our small businesses.

Champions work hard

05_Flatbed_1 - FEBRUARY

Lindsey Vonn celebrates her World Cup victories with her ski technician, Heinz Haemmerle. Image: Doug Haney/NYDailyNews.com

Lindsey Vonn does a lot of behind-the-scenes hard work for her big wins. Vonn’s professionalism and work ethic are extraordinary. Her “ski man,” Heinz Haemmerle says, “She’s very focused on where she wants to get. She wants to win every race,” he says. “I get so many informations from her about skis.”

Unlike many super-star skiers, Vonn goes the extra mile and provides her ski trainer with detailed notes every day. Vonn has made notes after skiing in different weather conditions and she tried between 20 and 25 different skis in 2009. In skiing, even a fraction of a second can make a difference, and she puts in the work necessary to conquer time. “I never had anybody else do this,” says Haemmerle. “After each run on the chair or whatever, she writes it down. It’s very professional. Every day she makes her notes.” And, Haemmerle is no newcomer to the sport. He is the “best available” ski technician.

Washington could take a lesson from Lindsey’s work ethic. Instead of blowing up the budget, Washington needs to do its homework, treat the American people like a team, as Vonn treats Haemmerle, and be transparent about new legislation instead of bribing Senators to clandestinely pass unfavorable health care “reforms” on Christmas Eve.

The U.S. can take inspiration from Vonn’s willingness to put in the extra effort to come up from behind to become the strongest female skier in the world:

Some argue that Julia Mancuso, another member of the U.S. Ski Team, who won gold in the giant slalom in Turin, was the “naturally gifted junior, a fine all-round skier who occasionally took her talent for granted. Today, “Lindsey Vonn” is practically a household name and Mancuso has faded to oblivion. I think this is because Vonn spent the past four years working hard in a challenging Austrian-based training program, mastering men’s skis, and focusing on developing as a skier, while Moncuso proclaimed that, “I think underwear is my calling” and channeled part of her time away from the slopes to develop a lingerie line called Kiss My Tiara.

vonn_worlds

Image: Getty Images/AFP-Fabrice Coffrini.

Unsurprisingly, rugged grit and persistent hard work proved a better strategy than living like a ski princess since Vonn, not Mancuso, emerged to become the most decorated American female skier in World Cup history, winning back-to-back overall World Cup championships in 2008 and 2009.

Likewise, the U.S. can no longer flaunt herself as the “biggest and the best” – she has to go out there and prove herself again on the world stage. But, in order for this to happen, big government needs to step out of the way and give individuals, banks and small businesses breathing room.

Luck is not a strategy to win. Having fun is not a strategy for success. Blood, sweat and tears are.

Think of how much sacrifice goes into being an Olympic skier. You never have an off-season. For four years you are working towards a few minutes on the slopes. Vonn often sacrifices leisure to achieve her goals. According to Parade, ‘Between practicing, competing, eating, and sleeping, it’s tough to work it (watching other Olympic events) in. “I highly doubt that I’ll have time to watch any other events, but if I get a chance, I would really like to watch figure skating. Or maybe speedskating. We have a lot of pressure, a lot of obligations.”‘

Like Vonn, the U.S. can use setbacks to grow stronger. “It is important to note that Vonn always comes through. She has skied with an injured hand taped to one of her ski poles and still won. Her back was a mess after the fall in Turin and still she competed. If she can stand up, she’ll attempt to make it down the hill,” the Pioneer Press reports.

Americans have something special. We have a unique Constitution that provides opportunity, independence and freedom for all. As long as we uphold the Constitution and respect the proven success of capitalism and the free markets, our economy will flourish. But, if the U.S. continues to increase its dependence on unnatural governmental supplements, such as bailouts and stimulus packages, it will perpetuate its floundering economy.

Similarly, Vonn’s sacrifice and focus has made her so strong that Street says of Vonn’s Olympic odds, “As embarrassing as it is for the rest of ‘em, I’m sorry but, yes, she can spank you on 80 percent.vonn_skiing

Even now, with a severely bruised shin, Vonn “spanked” the rest of the competitors on the slopes this week. She tore up the gnar gnar and brought in the fastest time in the women’s training run.

Similarly, America is bruised and her economy is in a sling, but she need to grit her teeth and deal with some of the pain of this recession in order to move forward. As Glenn Beck implies nearly daily on his radio show, it will hurt Americans a lot more if we allow government to grow bigger and rely on Washington to patch up our oozing economic wounds with freshly printed junk dollar bills.

Ultimately, whether Vonn, who is still experiencing “throbbing” pain when she skis, but plans to “grit my teeth and fight through it on Wednesday,” wins five, one or zero gold medals in Vancouver, she has proven herself on the world stage. Vonn is a champion.

Take on the recession like a Vonn, America.Vonn

Additional articles cited for this piece:

St. Paul Pioneer Press: “Vonn will try to ski today,” by Frank Fitzpatrick on Feb. 2, 2010. “NOT AGAIN!,” by Tom Powers on Feb. 11, 2010, “Shin injury and all” by Tom Powers and “Street: Vonn can still win” from the Associated Press on Feb. 12, 2010.

Feb
15

Whiffed up Olympic politics

By Katie Kieffer

Image credit: The Green Blazer blog

Image credit: The Green Blazer blog

Want to embarrass yourself on the golf course? Whiff, whiff and whiff away. Fail to make contact with the ball and you’ll tee yourself up for a tense round of ridicule from your golfing partners.

Golf may have just whiffed itself into a potentially embarrassing situation during the 2016 Olympics – by participating in the Olympics. Rio de Janeiro is not a great golf town (Chicago is, no thanks to the First Couple), and Rio de Janeiro is where golf will debut as an Olympic sport. Here’s the story of golf’s unhealthy relationship with the Olympics:

Thanks to pressure from Tiger Woods, on Oct. 9, 2009, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) voted to include golf and rugby in the 2016 Olympic Games.

Sound exciting? It’s only exciting if you like to keep your game in the sand bunkers and water hazards.

There are more than a few things to question about golf’s push for inclusion in the Olympic Games. They all stem from the fact that the success of golf as an Olympic sport depended on the integrity of one man who fell hard, Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods pushed the IOC to include golf in the Games, arguing that the Olympics is “the grandest of stages,” and golf is a “global” and “honorable game.”

Throughout the history of the Games, the IOC has never had a vested interest in golf.  Logically so: “sports in which the gold medal is not the ultimate prize are never quite as riveting as the other competitions. And there isn’t a tennis player alive who wouldn’t rather win the Wimbledon silver cup and plate, or a golfer the Masters green jacket,” Mark Starr with GlobalPost points out.

Meanwhile, the selection process for the new game of Olympic golf is sketchy at best, but Tiger-approved.

Image: Getty Images.Woods_97_Masters

Gold medals image: Getty Images.

So what explains the IOC’s sudden interest and acceptance of golf? The IOC was betting on Tiger’s celebrity status to extraordinarily boost Olympic sponsors and TV rights-holders during a time when sports sponsors are increasingly hard to attain.

Woods’ motivation appeared to be a new platform to garner sponsorships and international acclaim. Tiger would turn 40 in 2016, and a gold medal in the Olympics would be a perfect crown to retire his laurels on. Pre-affair leak, Tiger committed to playing in the Olympics if he doesn’t retire first.

While fans might still enjoy watching Tiger take on the Olympic gold at age forty, Tiger does not draw a crowd like he used to. Including golf in the Olympics appears to be a short-sighted vision of the sport of golf and golf fans.

Baseball’s lack of celebrity player participation motivated the IOC to drop baseball from the Olympics after the 2008 Beijing Games and now the MLB plays continuously through the Olympic Games. Currently, hockey is in a similar situation. Frustrated with the suspension of regular season play for the Vancouver Olympic Games, NHL Commissioner, Gary Bettman, has indicated this may not continue going forward. So who’s Tiger to say that golf won’t suffer the same predicament now that his dirty laundry is out to dry?

Who could benefit from golf’s inclusion in the Olympics? Certainly not fans, sponsors or players. They have already tuned out from watching golf and in six years they will be far less likely to tune in. In the wake of Tiger’s admitted affairs, the PGA Tour has seen a noticeable dip in America’s interest in playing and sponsoring golf as well as a continued dip in viewership. The IOC stands to benefit the most.

Tiger had an impeccable image of a devoted husband, father, philanthropist and athlete. He was the badge of honor in golf. As former vice president of programing for CBS Sports, Jay Rosenstein put it, “Tiger Woods is golf. The concern is that for a sport whose identity is so closely tied to the idea of honor, what he’s gone through has to be incredibly damaging.”

The IOC essentially based the sport of golf’s inclusion on the honor, integrity and talent of one athlete, Tiger Woods. This is called throwing all your eggs in one basket. It’s a foolish risk to take, especially if you don’t have insurance on the basket if it breaks. The Olympics will lose their appeal if the IOC continues to make political moves to garner sponsorships and base the inclusion of an entire sport on one celebrity athlete within that sport.Tiger-Woods

Feb
11

Stupid Cupid’s trophy case

By Katie Kieffer

Cupids from Raphael's Sistine Chapel Madonna.

Angels from Raphael's Sistine Madonna.

Italian prodigy, Raphael, once painted two angels in the Sistine Chapel. This angelic pair has celebrity status if you consider how often they are photographed by the art world’s paparazzi of art connoisseurs and entrepreneurs. Political historians like myself surmise that these cherubs are also known as “Stupid Cupid” and “Smart Cupid.” Ideally, you want to be hit by Smart Cupid on Valentine’s Day. This will be difficult, since Stupid Cupid had a red hot 2009.

If there are trophies for bad romance, then Stupid Cupid has a shelf full of hardware. I’m proud to announce that I discovered Stupid Cupid’s top eight trophies, or victories, from 2009. I’ve mentioned them all on my blog before, and I thought you might like me to line them up neatly in the trophy case for you to see:

  1. Sheldon Adelson. His reckless lust to build luxurious, Vegas Strip-style real estate – without regard for the market – overwhelmed his common sense and destroyed his massive fortune. He’s a mini mirror of Washington’s impetuous spending that has driven the U.S. into recession.

    Sheldon Adelson. Getty Images.

    Sheldon Adelson. Getty Images.

  2. Sen. Ben Nelson. Sen. Nelson was a sucker for sweet-talker, Stupid Cupid, when he appeared in the form of a big-time health care bribe from Washington.

    Sen. Ben Nelson (D-NE). Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images

    Sen. Ben Nelson (D-NE). Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images

  3. Michael Moore. You’ll remember that the Kieffer Sisters busted Moore hypocritically drooling over capitalism. In 2009, Stupid Cupid lit Moore’s fire for a capitalism-bashing blockbuster, so Moore hides his current love affair with capitalism from his liberal fans. No more invitations to my New Year’s Eve parties, Moore, until you become transparent and admit that capitalism made you successful.

    Michael Moore unveils 'Capitalism' at the Venice Film Festival, 2009. Getty Images.

    Michael Moore unveils 'Capitalism' at the Venice Film Festival, 2009. Getty Images.

  4. Dan Rooney. Stupid Cupid threw Rooney a pass and Rooney ran for a touchdown, scoring Presidential photo ops, the Ambassadorship to Ireland and free political advertising in return for throwing NFL owners, coaching applicants and fans under the bus.

    Steelers' owner Dan Rooney Sr. walks with President Obama during 2008 campaign. Image: Andy Starnes/Post-Gazette.

    Steelers' owner Dan Rooney Sr. walks with President Obama during 2008 campaign. Image: Andy Starnes/Post-Gazette.

  5. Terry O’Neill. Ms. O’Neill presides over the not-so-secret society of bitter women, NOW, so she was quick to take the bait when Stupid Cupid suggested she declare Tim Tebow’s courageous Super Bowl ad a promotion of “violence against women.

    NOW President, Terry O'Neill. Image credit: feministleadershipnow.com.

    NOW President, Terry O'Neill. Image credit: feministleadershipnow.com.

  6. Tiger Woods. Apparently Stupid Cupid whispered, “Trophy wife, trophy life!” into Woods’ ear so often that it literally went to his head. Woods began to think he could develop a feline’s multitudinous life span by adding more trophy women to his life.

    Tiger Woods smiles with Australian Masters trophy. Image: golf365.co.za

    Tiger Woods smiles with Australian Masters trophy. Image: golf365.co.za

  7. Ben Bernanke. When not reminiscing about his only business experience, waiting tables in a poncho at South of the Border in college, Chairman Bernanke succumbs to Stupid Cupid’s temptations to hurt the U.S. economy by harshly regulating banks and printing junk money.

    Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner confers with Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke before testifying about the AIG bonus scandal. Image: Matthew Cavanaugh/EPA

    Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner confers with Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke before testifying about the AIG bonus scandal. Image: Matthew Cavanaugh/EPA

  8. Rep. Nancy Pelosi. Rep. Pelosi is Stupid Cupid’s “Super Trophy” that makes the Saints’ “Who Dat? Super Bowl Trophy” pallor in comparison. Rumor has it that Stupid Cupid flies military jet-loads of Ghirardelli chocolate into Rep. Pelosi’s office. When she’s sufficiently high on sugar, she will agree to any of his crazy Congressional suggestions.

    Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) talk to the media at the White House. Image: Erika Dimmler/CNN.

    Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) talk to the media at the White House. Image: Erika Dimmler/CNN.

If you are concerned that Stupid Cupid might hit you with his arrow this Valentine’s Day, know this: the aforementioned individuals hit by Stupid Cupid were by no means innocent victims. They asked for it. In 2010, love responsibly. Espouse conservative principles and don’t get hit by Stupid Cupid’s arrow.

Feb
05

5 Super Bowl Party Ideas

By Katie Kieffer

Image credit: sports-odds.com

Image credit: sports-odds.com

The Vikings didn’t make the Super Bowl this year. You can still have an awesome Super Bowl Sunday. Instead of apathetically watching the Colts steamroll the Saints, take my suggestions to increase the “fun factor” at your Super Bowl party.

Pre Game

You could listen to dancing-sensation, Katie Couric, interview President Obama before the Super Bowl. Or, you could ignore politicians who are trying to control college football, act as sports commentators and snag prime pre-Super Bowl slots instead of focusing on their real job. (We all know Underwear Bombers could care less about football.)

If you’d like the President to start focussing on serious matters like national security and spend less time having fun, here’s a better pre-game idea: Have your guests make the President a paint splash Valentine. Just be sure to finish reading this post BEFORE you start splashing paint, or you’ll end up like my “twin” sister, Blair:
Splashing_PaintBefore the game, give each guest a different colored can of paint and a huge blank canvas. Let them have fun – this is modern art – not Michelangelo. They should write a message to the President such as: “Leave Football Alone!” They can finger paint, spray paint, dump the entire can of paint on the canvas – whatever rocks their boat. Let the canvas dry, and on Monday ship the canvas to the White House for Valentine’s Day delivery.

Food

The Vikings are a good team. Let’s stop moping and celebrate how far they came this season with:

  1. Energizing Sack-Man Smoothies to honor Jared Allen’s energy that, as Sports Illustrated reveals, carries fans on eagle’s wings. Or, as Brett Favre says, “Jared Allen is a beast, man.” Smoothies taste best Allen-style, when when you’re wearing your Wyatt Earp cowboy hat.Jared_Allen_cowboy_hat
  2. Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and wine to honor the strength, leadership and skill that Brett Favre brought to the Vikings this season. Wine and Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese get better with age, as does Favre. Whether Favre stays with the Vikings or not, I’ve shown how his leadership has improved the team, and we should celebrate that.Parmigiano-Reggiano and Wine

Party Favors

Send your guests home looking like Joe Montana and give them all Super Bowl rings. Get the Vince Lombardi Trophy engraved onto an inexpensive ring for each guest. Now that Roger Goodell seems to think it’s fine to mess with the Holy Grail of NFL tradition and alter the look of the Trophy on the Super Bowl logo, you need to preserve it for your friends. Some changes, like going from Sen. Kennedy to Sen. Brown are uplifting, while pointless change for the sake of change is less exciting.

After Party

TiVo Tebow: Record Tim Tebow’s confident tribute to life and free speech in his Super Bowl ad. Whenever you’re tired of hearing about Tiger Woods’ secret life, turn on Tebow’s ad and restore your faith in super star athletes.Tim Tebow Sports Illustrated Cover

Jan
28

Tim Tebow terrifies feminists

By Katie and Amie Kieffer

Image credit: AP Images / Phil Sandlin

Image credit: AP Images / Phil Sandlin

Heisman Trophy winner and Florida Gators quarterback, Tim Tebow, is a favorite heading into the NFL spring draft. A favorite among football fans and pro-life Americans, that is. Puppy-faced Tebow, who loves his mom and isn’t afraid to hug her in public, is on the receiving end of trash-talking, bitter feminists.

Radical feminists find Tebow’s life story threatening. Tebow plans to tell how his mother chose life for him, when her doctors advised abortion, in a CBS-approved and Focus on the Family-sponsored Super Bowl ad. The ad’s opponents seem to think that pro-abortion women who view this ad will suffer massive blows to their self-esteem and free will. Somehow, this ad – and Tebow’s mother’s choice of life – “threaten” the ability of other women to choose abortion.

In this short video, Tebow explains his role in the ad:

What do you think? Should Tim Tebow and other athletes be applauded or condemned when they take a public stand on principles they believe in? Why do feminists feel so threatened by public expressions of choosing life?

My sister, Amie, created the cartoon featured below to help generate thought-provoking discussion on this topic. I’m curious to know your thoughts!

Art by Amie Kieffer. Copyright 2010. All rights reserved.

Art by Amie Kieffer. Copyright 2010. All rights reserved.

Jan
21

Rachelize our recession

By Katie Kieffer

Rachel Alexandra wins Preakness. (Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

Rachel Alexandra wins Preakness. (Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

The answer to ending the U.S. recession comes straight from the horse’s mouth: “Rachelize it.”

No, I’m not calling Rachel Green a horse or suggesting Rachel Uchitel could solve our monetary affairs even better than she could pull off an affair with Tiger. I’m talking about sitting down in the stable and listening to the real stories of Rachel Alexandra. This bay filly racehorse – voted Horse of the Year by a wide margin – has some advice on how the U.S. can pull off the biggest win for the economy.

Ride the storm: Rachel Alexandra’s ride to become the first female horse to win the prestigious Preakness since 1924 was not smooth. She had changed her jockey, barn, exercise rider, groom and diet – all only two weeks before the Preakness.

Takeaway: We are in turbulent economic times – unlike anything we’ve seen before. But, we can’t let a few bumps in the road take our eyes off the prize.

Choose a leader who takes smart risks, pushes you and promotes your freedom: Rachel Alexandra’s owner, Jess Jackson, has empowered her to win. Jackson is an entrepreneur who took on substantial – and smart – financial risk to pursue his lifelong passion for horses: In one 2004 sale, he gambled away roughly $22 million to purchase 95 horses and he reportedly spent around $5 million to purchase Rachel Alexandra after she easily won the Kentucky Oaks.

Jackson is an owner who pushes his prize horses – Curlin (’07 and ‘08 Horse of the Year) and Rachel Alexandra – past conventional limits. He confidently raises the bar, and they race to meet it. He ran Curlin as a 4-year-old (Jackson produces horses with Brett Favre’s longevity), and plans to do the same with Rachel Alexandra. Immediately after purchasing Rachel Alexandra, he ignored the advice of her prior owner and raced her – not once, but three times – against males.

Key to Rachel Alexandra’s success has been Jackson’s refusal to limit her freedom and brilliance. He says, “We haven’t yet defined her.” And, in a sport where ego is king, he allowed a rustic jockey with boatloads of passion and an uncanny chemistry with the filly, Calvin Borel, to ride her to victory – even though Curlin’s jockey, Robby Albardo, was the favored rider. Jackson does right by his horses and doesn’t let his ego or a desire to micromanage prevent their success.

Takeaway: Just as Rachel Alexandra’s wins are attributable to the freedom and confidence her owner gave her – our economy will bounce back in leaps and bounds if the government rejects liberal political practices like bailouts, increased regulations and flagrant spending in favor of capitalist principles and lower taxes to empower entrepreneurs and small businesses to hire, innovate and invest again.

Rachel Alexandra's Preakness trophy

Owner Jess Jackson kisses Rachel Alexandra's Preakness trophy as jockey Calvin Borel holds it. Image: John McDonnell-The Washington Post

Punish – but don’t kill the goose that laid the golden egg – on rumors of steroids. Jackson has been a loud advocate for eliminating drug use in U.S. horse-racing while others in the industry have chosen to take a more quiet stance. Jackson’s jealous detractors claim his use of tainted – but proven – trainer, Steve Asmussen, is hypocritical.

The reality is that Asmussen’s racing violations are mostly trite human errors – and the few that do involve juicing allegations have been blown up by the media without a fair inspection.

Sports Illustrated’s Tim Layden reports: “I have 300 [horses], 300 employees, a wife and three children, and I’ve got a lab in a basement somewhere?” the trainer (Asmussen) says, his voice raised. “I’ve dedicated my life to this sport, and I’m going to risk losing the opportunity to train Curlin and Rachel Alexandra? Are you out of your frickin’ mind?”

Asmussen argues that the breadth of his operation not only results in his horses’ being tested more than any other trainer’s but also leaves him vulnerable to sabotage by jealous opponents, and to veterinary errors. “Some people think they can beat me even though I’ve been doing this my whole life,” he says. “They let you bet on this game, so people feel cheated. I say if you can’t beat me, run against somebody else.”

Here is what hurts most deeply: “All this talk about me and medication,” says Asmussen, “and Rachel gets dragged down because of it. It’s wrong beyond belief.”

Jackson understands about Asmussen what President Obama, his pay czar, and congressional liberals fail to understand about Wall Street and wealthy American entrepreneurs: Good, talented people make mistakes but that doesn’t make them Satan’s spawn. Overtly corrupt outliers should not be able to ruin the system for everyone. Bailing out criminals and bad business models – and then demanding repayment – is a foolhardy way to end corruption and an economic downturn. This practice enables corruption and discourages those who are playing by the rules from continuing to do so.

A better route – that Jackson espouses for raising prize racehorses – is to expose and punish gross misdemeanors – without letting jealousy, gossip and trivial errors squash the best talent. Jackson doesn’t believe in excessive criminalization and regulation as a means to blowing his horn as the savior of mankind and the destroyer of corruption, as the Anointed One’s Administration is apt to do.

Takeaway: Sometimes people cheat. So, make an example of them. But – we can’t let an obsessive fear of cheating destroy trust, freeze transactions, cripple innovative risk-taking and drag down our economy.

There you have it: How to end the recession – straight from the horse’s mouth.

Jan
11

How the NFL rushes owners

By Katie Kieffer

Image credit: businessweek.com

Image credit: businessweek.com

Here’s a dirty little secret: Pittsburgh Steelers owner and chairman, Dan Rooney, has used his position, fans and the NFL franchise for personal and political gain. While he is credited with bringing coaching opportunities to minorities, a dig beneath the surface reveals otherwise.

Humility is a virtue, and Rooney appears lacking. In 2003, he instigated the creation of a rule that would require the NFL to identify and interview a minority candidate for all head and senior-level coaching positions. The rule was named the Rooney Rule as a permanent tribute to Rooney’s “benignity” and an honor to the Rooney family legacy.

In 2003 there was – and continues to be – a measurably lower number of minorities in high NFL coaching positions. These are indisputable facts. The questions – which have yet to be answered by the NFL are:

  1. Is there a problem? (There is only a problem if highly or equally qualified minority coaches are being overlooked for senior-level positions.)
  2. If there is a problem, is the Rooney Rule the best solution?

Dan Rooney has personally made off like a bandit since he berthed his vanity rule. His goodie bag includes:

President Obama holds up the Steelers Jersey Dan Rooney gave him during a campaign rally in Pittsburgh on Oct. 27, 2008. Image credit: REUTERS/Jason Reed.

President Obama, at a campaign rally in Pittsburgh on Oct. 27, 2008, holds up the Steelers Jersey Dan Rooney gave him. Image credit: REUTERS/Jason Reed.

Currently, there is talk to extend the Rooney Rule into the realm of college football. President Obama and Pelosi’s House want to control the college football championships, as I warned here. Rooney is a big-name, high-dollar supporter and President Obama has rewarded his groveling with an Ambassadorship. So, don’t be surprised if Rooney helps the President control college football by expanding affirmative action rules.

The Rooney Rule makes race the issue without proving that race is the obstacle to the low number of minority coaches in the NFL. There are a myriad of possible reasons for this discrepancy. For instance, more men than women choose math-intensive careers. This generally equates to their different career and lifestyle interests, not intellectual differences between the sexes.

President Obama and Dan Rooney pose for cameras. Image: REUTERS.

President Obama and Dan Rooney pose for cameras. Image: REUTERS.

There is a distinctly lower number of women playing alongside men in the NFL. So, should I create the “Kieffer Rule” to remedy this situation and become an instant celebrity among feminists everywhere?

No. This wouldn’t be a win for male-female equality—it would be a win for my ego, my name, my ambitions and a loss for women who would now hear from the sports industry what they are already hear from the modeling industry: “You must push your body to an unhealthy and unnatural standard to be at the top.” Moreover, by creating this rule, I would be declaring males and females unequal because their bodies are different. But, “different” is not commensurate to “unequal.”

Proper enforcement of the Rooney Rule is overseen by a man of a different era: John Wooten. He played in the NFL from 1959-1968 when there were NO minority coaches. Today is a different era. Young Americans – with the exception of a few mental cases – do not see race as an issue. Young Americans today accept, live and breathe diversity.

66 percent of my peers voted for the first African-American U.S. President. Race is a non-issue when young people make important decisions. Equality is alive. The only people who seem to get caught up on race are liberal, grey-haired politicians like Sen. Harry Reid and Vice President Joe Biden.

The Rooney Rule sounds good but has easy loopholes for teams like the Detroit Lions, makes political pawns out of minority coach applicants like Vikings defensive coordinator, Leslie Frazier, is illogical for situations like replacing Chicago Bears Coach, Lovie Smith, and is a disgustingly obvious way to flatter Dan Rooney’s ego and his liberal political endeavors.

The NFL should stop “rushing” owners to make impaired decisions with the Rooney Rule. Let’s empower owners to pick the best person for the job and forget about race. Race doesn’t matter. The NFL should acknowledge this and stop pressuring NFL owners to interview certain applicants for an appearance of equality: It is a disgrace to true equality in America.

Jan
04

Brett Favre Mirrors for 2012

By Katie Kieffer

Image credit: nfl.com

Image credit: nfl.com

Brett Favre is the best thing that happened to the Minnesota Vikings this season. The U.S. could rapidly end the economic recession by cloning Favre’s success on the football field on Capitol Hill.

Currently, the U.S. is playing all defense and no offense. Brett Favre steamrolled the Giants 44-7 yesterday and ended the Vikings season by setting NFL and personal records for touchdowns and interceptions. His offensive play set the Vikings up to get a first-round bye and gives them a positive entrance into the playoffs and a run for the Super Bowl. Let’s watch some of Brett Favre’s tapes and steal some insights for how to improve our existing roster of elected officials in Washington.

Brett Favre’s Secret Sauce:

Brett Favre has impacted the entire Vikings team and NFL franchise in a positive way. When Childress lays off his high horse and lets Favre work his magic, the entire team benefits.

Brett Favre knows the recipe for success:

  • Develop what former NFL quarterback, Trent Dilfer, calls a “mastery of the West Coast offense more than any other quarterback ever has … (and) the best in-game feel of any quarterback to ever play – his intuitive feel for the game is second to none.”
  • Become one of the NFL’s top three highest-rated passers
  • Take your team to the Super Bowl
  • Win three MVPs
  • Set the record for Pro Bowl selections – 11
  • Spend countless hours in film study of opponents
Image credit: ESPN NFL online

Image credit: ESPN NFL online

Spend 19 years in the NFL developing a sixth sense for the game and achieving the above goals. Combine with sensitivity and charisma to pass these skills on to your teammates in the locker room. The entire team will rave:

Star receiver, Sidney Rice: “He’s pushed my confidence through the roof. … When you have a guy of his stature, who’s done all the things he’s done, trusting you and believing you’re going to make that play, it means a whole lot.”

Defensive end and sack man, Jared Allen: “(Favre brings) Confidence. He brings so much energy and toughness to this team. I think his impact has been awesome.”

Tight end, Visanthe Shiancoe: “You feed off that (Favre’s contagious swagger and confidence). That’s the captain that steers the ship, man.”

Brett Favre believes in balance. He doesn’t want to overthrow or disrespect coaching authority. But, my assessment is that his primary goal is to win games. And, his philosophy to win is for everyone – coaches and players – to play to their strengths and give each other freedom. He wants to have a say in the offensive strategy, and becomes frustrated if a coach dictates plays without input from the seasoned quarterback they worked so hard to recruit.

Success – in sports, or in public policy – requires that leadership trust. Just like young Vikings players attribute their rapid growth to Favre’s trust and encouragement, the American people need leadership to trust that they are capable of making decisions on their own.

America’s Political Roster:

Primary Weakness: Inexperience

Greatest Strength: Media Savvy

Caution:

Brad_ChildressChildress is great at encouraging the team, and, particularly since the Vikings’ game against Chicago, he has been feeding the media and the team positive messages. But, going into the playoffs, the Vikings need Childress to trust Favre and the younger players he’s helped to mentor. Only the players can lead the team to the Super Bowl, so the coach needs to enable – not disable – the players.

President_ObamaLikewise, President Obama convinced young people to vote for him with his motivating speeches. Once elected, he has trusted the government more than the people to come up with the best solutions. This lack of trust could disable the entire economy because the markets, consumers and businesses will freeze.

Key Players:

  1. Barack Obama, President
    • Former Southside Chicago community organizer. He has “the least experience and training of any chief executive in history,” reports Newsmax.com.
  2. Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the U.S. Federal Reserve
    He’s a scholar who lacks business experience and openly admits he missed the ball on the recession. He’s better fit for the library than the real world.
  3. Obama’s Cabinet Appointees
    • Only eight percent of Obama’s Cabinet Appointees have any private sector experience.
  4. Czars
    • More alarming than the questionable backgrounds of Obama’s expanding entourage of Czars is their very appointment. Wouldn’t you question the qualifications of regular football referees if the NFL suddenly felt the need to appoint numerous “czars” to oversee the reffing of the game?
    The Constitution doesn’t call for these extra layers of bureaucracy, so – by creating extraneous levels of control – the current Administration admits its incompetence to govern with the tools of the Constitution

Game-day strategy:

Brett Farve’s positive impact on the Vikings stemmed from one thing: His experience with the game. Let’s learn from this when we vote in 2010 – and especially in 2012. By electing “Brett Favre Mirrors” – politicians with experience, charisma and character – not just media savvy – we can change our roster from rookie elites to experienced team-players who will take our country and our economy to the “Super Bowl.” Let’s take a step away from leaders who espouse Childress-style micromanaging and a step toward Favre-style teamwork, confidence and experience.

Just as the Vikings’ confidence soared with an experienced and trusting leader like Favre, the U.S. economy would benefit with leaders who trust the American people to make their own plays. Consumer confidence will rise; banks and small businesses will develop the mutual trust needed to invest and take risks; the economy will start rocking and rolling again – if our elected officials and the Fed Chairman give back rightful control and freedom to the American people, entrepreneurs and the market.

Image credit: cfnews13.com

Image credit: cfnews13.com

Sources: St. Paul Pioneer Press: “Give Favre the keys to the offense” and “Favre leaving lasting impact on the Vikings” by Sean Jensen on Dec. 30, 2009 and Jan. 1, 2010, respectively. “Eight Vikings are Pro Bowl picks” by Rick Alonzo on Dec. 30, 2009. “Rice: Favre helped me get to the Pro Bowl” by Bob Sansevere on Dec. 31, 2009. “Down but not out” by Rick Alonzo on Jan. 3, 2010.

Dec
21

5 funny last minute gift ideas

By Katie Kieffer

Image credit: http://bit.ly/5Qc75O

Image credit: http://bit.ly/5Qc75O

Seriously, who has all their Christmas shopping done? That’s right, no one. So, here are some humorous last-minute holiday gift ideas for everyone on your list:

  1. For the liberal on your list:

    Custom-design a T-shirt that says “I voted for Obama…” on the front and “Now I have buyer’s remorse” on the back. Pack the T-shirt, along with a box of Kleenex®, in a festive gift bag.

  2. For the conservative on your list:

    SimCity™ Congress. Allow your conservative friend to create his or her own reformed version of Capitol Hill with this fun video game where they decide who’s more capable of running our country than the Pelosi-Reid-Emanuel Control Entourage. Game available exclusively through the North Pole.

  3. For the beach bum golddigger on your list:

    An inflatable dollar bill water raft.  Let your friend, whose middle name is F-U-N, laugh in the face of an inflating dollar with this toy. The beach is no place for depression or recession!

  4. For the flirt on your list:

    iTigerResponse. This iPhone application, also available exclusively through the North Pole, sends an automatic response such as “You’re dumped,” “We’re history,” or “Don’t ever text me again!” to anyone who sexts your flirty friend. A great gift for a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse that you want to keep tabs on.

  5. For the Al Gore-Lover/Man-Made-Global-Warming-Believer on your list:

    Nothing. Gently explain to your friend that you’re going paperless and presentless this Christmas to respect their subscription to Al Gore’s fake science and belief that capitalists (the people who create industrialized goods, i.e. gifts) are fiends “raping and pillaging the environment for profit” (quote – Sean Hannity). Given the current recession, your credit card will be in good shape if you have lots of these people on your list.

Gift wrap and trimmings:

Add an extra laugh to your gifts – and save money on wrapping paper – by creating your own:

  • Use a large-format printer to create enlarged copies of the United States Constitution. After wrapping your present, attach a tag that says, “To: (your friend), From: Sen. Harry Reid. I couldn’t think of anything else to do with this stone-age document! I hope you appreciate my recycling efforts! Merry Christmas.”

Dec
11

Cheerleaders banned next?

By Katie Kieffer

Image credit: http://tinyurl.com/yb9lrq3

Image credit: http://tinyurl.com/yb9lrq3

If you never thought your government would stomp into your living room and tinker with the football channel, well, think again. As I warned in “Leave football alone!” and ESPN predicted, Uncle Sam thinks he should control sports as well as health care, the economy and the climate. This week, the House passed a bill that – if approved by the full committee and the Senate – would force college football to switch from the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) system to a playoff system.

Since the government has found spectacular solutions (TBD) for the recession and health care and Al Gore is busy crunching numbers to prove “man-made” global warming, Congress seems to have plenty of extra time on its hands.

You get the feeling that our representatives were looking at each other one day and said, ‘Gosh, we’ve solved America’s problems, and our President is handling the war, let’s see what else we can “fix!”‘ That’s when Sen. John Kerry texted House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and said, “Hey NP, I finally learned how to catch a football! I think you should focus on the BCS system. Nothing’s wrong with it, but gosh, wouldn’t it be great to control college football?”

Image credit: http://tinyurl.com/y8onyre

Image credit: http://tinyurl.com/y8onyre

If you’re an avid football fan – whether or not you like the BCS system – I think you should be alarmed that our government is trying to control sports, as ESPN points out. Additionally, do you really want your tax dollars going toward discussions about sports in Congress? Wouldn’t you rather have your elected officials focus on solving big problems – like the recession or the War in Afghanistan?

This is getting a little out of hand, wouldn’t you say? What’s next, a bill that bans cheerleaders from performing because their stunts are too risky and could endanger their health?

You can read my introductory post and watch ESPN’s video here if you want more background on this story. Take my poll on the right-hand side panel and tell me what you think!