By Katie Kieffer

By Katie Kieffer

Italian prodigy, Raphael, once painted two angels in the Sistine Chapel. One chubby cherub wears a mischievous expression as he rests his chin on his hand. The other looks wide-eyed and innocent. This angelic pair has celebrity status if you consider how often they have been reproduced. Political historians like myself surmise that these cherubs are also known as “Stupid Cupid” and “Smart Cupid.” Ideally, you want to be hit by Smart Cupid on Valentine’s Day. This will be difficult, since Stupid Cupid had a red hot winter.

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By Katie Kieffer

Common sense is making a comeback among Millennials, who would rather cruise the open road in a gas-propelled hot rod than text, hug a tree, or drive a Tesla.

Democrats and Republicans alike make the mistake of believing that Millennial drivers eschew common sense. For example, Gov. Mark Dayton (D-MN) thinks he will increase his popularity by pushing a massive gas tax that would add at least 16 cents to the price of every gallon. Meanwhile, in his own pathetic attempt to become one of the cool kids, Rep. Pat Garofalo (R-MN) was recently photographed standing beside his shiny new Tesla electric sports car.

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By Katie Kieffer

Gunpowder is bullet-proof preventative medicine for American physicians. Every doctor should have the option to carry concealed in clinics and hospitals.

A 55-year-old man named Stephen Pasceri walked into Boston’s Brigham and Woman’s Hospital last Tuesday and asked for renowned cardiovascular surgeon Dr. Michael Davidson. When the surgeon appeared, Pasceri pulled out a .40-caliber pistol and hit the surgeon twice before turning the gun on himself.

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By Katie Kieffer

Orthodox Jewish women and conservative Muslim women both follow modesty rules, but Orthodox Jewish women are devout without abandoning their individuality and civil liberties.

26-year-old Hayat Boumedienneis the suspected accomplice in last week’s 3-day terror attack in Paris, France. Her common law husband, Amedy Coulibaly, murdered four Jews and a policewoman in a kosher Paris market.

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By Katie Kieffer

12 Charlie Hebdo staffers who died for free speech and 25 Republicans who voted against U.S. Speaker John Boehner are heroes. We too could be heroes, me and you.

“We could be heroes, me and you,” are lyrics from Heroes (We Could Be)—a 2014 number one hit single by Swedish DJ Allesso, featuring singer Tove Lo. The lyrics reverberate with new meaning after the January 7 terror attack on the French weekly satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo.

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By Katie Kieffer

Monkeys are not people. Trees are not children. And human beings are not causing the earth to melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.

“It’s probably the equivalent of watching your family getting shot before a firing squad,” environmental extremist Tom Whitaker described his emotional response to logging for National Geographic in July of 2000.

Fast forward to December of 2014: a 29-year-old orangutan named “Sandra” was represented by a lawyer named Andres Gil Dominguez who helped the ape win human rights in an Argentine court of law.

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By Katie Kieffer

Homeless American veterans shiver in the bitter cold while illegal immigrants receive subsidized four-year degrees.

At midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold, Christ was born in a stable after his parents were turned away by every innkeeper. Joseph and Mary did not respond with entitlement: “If you don’t shelter us, then you’re racist.” Rather, they used their ingenuity to find an alternative birthplace for their son among friends—farm animals, shepherds, kings, and angels—beneath the light of an extraordinary star.

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By Katie Kieffer

Lena Dunham and the federal government ain’t volunteering to advocate for rape victims; they would like compensation—in millions, please.

Faceless and nameless men and women volunteer every day, all across the country, to counsel, shelter and heal sexual assault victims. Hollywood darling Lena Dunham is advocating for women too. But Dunham is neither offering women practical tools to deter rape nor taking a six-month sabbatical to volunteer at a woman’s shelter.

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By Katie Kieffer

“Desperate” is not disguising a bald spot with spray paint or treating a thinning scalp with Rogaine; desperate is murdering over a lock of human hair—and unemployed Americans are growing desperate.

Despite Michelle Obama’s claim that her hubby unleashed a “huge recovery,” the only visible recovery is on the black market, where a growing number of Americans are “working” as hair thieves.

At 3 a.m. last Wednesday, men wearing ski masks pulled up to Beauty Empire, a Houston beauty supply store. Less than four minutes later, the men used a crow bar to break into the store, shatter an internal alarm and make off with thousands of dollars worth of “remy” hair extensions.

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By Katie Kieffer

While watching two of the women who I most admire fight to breathe, eat and drink—I realized that President Obama and Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel are dead wrong about the value of life.

Dr. Emanuel is the brother of Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel and an advisor to President Obama. Last month, he penned a column in The Atlantic where he cackled: “…by 75, creativity, originality, and productivity are pretty much gone for the vast, vast majority of us.”

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