Category Archives: Law

Jan
05
2015

When Orangutans Get Lawyers

05, Jan

By Katie Kieffer


Monkeys are not people. Trees are not children. And human beings are not causing the earth to melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.

“It’s probably the equivalent of watching your family getting shot before a firing squad,” environmental extremist Tom Whitaker described his emotional response to logging for National Geographic in July of 2000.

Fast forward to December of 2014: a 29-year-old orangutan named “Sandra” was represented by a lawyer named Andres Gil Dominguez who helped the ape win human rights in an Argentine court of law. Continue reading

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Dec
22
2014

No Room for Vets in the Inn

22, Dec

By Katie Kieffer


Homeless American veterans shiver in the bitter cold while illegal immigrants receive subsidized four-year degrees.

At midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold, Christ was born in a stable after his parents were turned away by every innkeeper. Joseph and Mary did not respond with entitlement: “If you don’t shelter us, then you’re racist.” Rather, they used their ingenuity to find an alternative birthplace for their son among friends—farm animals, shepherds, kings, and angels—beneath the light of an extraordinary star. Continue reading

Posted in Law, National Security | 2 Comments
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Sep
22
2014

USPS: Where The Customer Is Always Last

22, Sep

By Katie Kieffer


Bang! Lee looked up from addressing a package while she waited in line for service at the post office. Despite a lobby packed with customers—without notice—a postal worker slammed down the service window gate and went to lunch, leaving Lee and the other patrons to fend for themselves.

The U.S. Postal Service excels at treating customers poorly. My friend Lee’s story is but one of many nightmares of churlish postal workers and deficient USPS customer service. Many government workers get away with behavior that would get them fired if they worked at a private company like McDonald’s or Apple. Continue reading

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Aug
18
2014

Welcome to Juristic Park

18, Aug

By Katie Kieffer


Steven Speilberg directed Jurassic Park 21 years ago. Barack Obama is now directing Juristic Park. Hold onto your popcorn. T. Rex is back.

The Tyrannosaurus Rex is one of the most dangerous land carnivores in world history. In the 1993 movie Jurassic Park, a genetically engineered T. Rex viciously attacks the park’s tourists after a duplicitous park employee deactivates the park’s electric fences. Continue reading

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Apr
21
2014

Help Wanted: Girls Gone Wild to Replace Lois Lerner

21, Apr

By Katie Kieffer


Female, feisty and unemployed? Fear not! Obama will need to hire IRS Girls Gone Wild to replace Lois Lerner.

To secure his legacy and help Democrats win future elections, Obama needs to replace former IRS Director of Exempt Organizations Lois Lerner, his number one Agency Girl Gone Wild. Lois has already been replaced in name since she retired (with full benefits!) on September 23, 2013. But, Obama still needs to find a mini Lois Lerner. Continue reading

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Apr
07
2014

A Story of Love and Liberty

07, Apr

By Katie Kieffer


Americans are incredibly generous individuals. Last week, when tragedy tore two young lovers apart—anonymous donors across the nation reached out, proving that individual goodness trumps social welfare.

24-year-old Indianapolis resident Nathan Trapuzzano stepped out the door last Monday, April 1 for his traditional morning walk on the west side. Nathan had high hopes for his life. He had recently moved to Indianapolis and was enjoying his career as a computer programmer. He was a year into his marriage to Jennifer—the love of his life—a stunning strawberry blonde with a gorgeous smile. Continue reading

Posted in Law | 1 Comment
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Mar
24
2014

Stop No-Knock SWAT Attacks

24, Mar

By Katie Kieffer


Gun owners beware. Squirt gun owners, that includes you. If a Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) team SUSPECTS you of crime, you may receive a late-night visit from an armed SWAT team.

That’s right, an armed and militant SWAT team could trot right through your front door as you slumber this summer. No-knock warrants are increasingly used by military-style police units, like SWAT teams for drug raids. Unfortunately, SWAT teams can obtain these warrants too easily from judges and consequently do not always perform sufficient due diligence. As a result, tens of thousands of decent, law-abiding American citizens are surprised every year by a no-knock visit when the SWAT team gets it wrong. Continue reading

Posted in 2nd Amendment, Law | 1 Comment
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Feb
17
2014

The Wolf of the White House

17, Feb

By Katie Kieffer

Wolf howling.

Awooooooo! The Wolf of the White House howls incessantly. Over twenty-nine times, the wolf called out unilateral changes to the Affordable Healthcare Act.

Twenty-nine times! I’m tired of this wolf. He’s disturbing the peace and making it impossible for me to sleep at night.

Last week, I woke up at 3:30 a.m. to the sound of a wolf call. I threw my earplugs against the wall in frustration and vowed to buy those gargantuan Bose noise-cancelling headphones. The headphones worked like a charm. I couldn’t hear the wolf and I slept soundly. Well, for about two nights. Continue reading

Posted in Health Care, Law | 1 Comment
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Oct
21
2013

Senate Scores Big Victory for 2nd Amendment

21, Oct

By Katie Kieffer


Tired of depressing news? Smile, because here is some very positive news: 50 U.S. Senators—both Democrats and Republicans—have pledged to stop Obama’s latest attack on the Second Amendment.

Last week, all 50 senators wrote a letter to Obama pledging not to ratify the United Nations’ Arms Trade Treaty. In order for this treaty to be ratified, it would need 60 “yay” votes in the Senate. This means, gun owners will not need to forfeit their God-given right to self-defense and President Obama is on notice that his latest attack on the Second Amendment is dead on arrival in the Senate. Continue reading

Posted in 2nd Amendment, Law, National Security | 2 Comments
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Oct
14
2013

Dear Obama: War Memorials Belong to Our Veterans

14, Oct

By Katie Kieffer


I realize Obama is quite busy playing fetch with Bo and Sunny. However, I hope he has a few moments to consider turning on the fountain at the WWII Memorial and un-barricading the remaining war memorials on the National Mall.

Our veterans of WWII, the Korean War and the Vietnam War are aging. Many of them are severely disabled, because of their heroism. It is immoral and embarrassing that our President would allow amnesty advocates to prance about on the sacred ground where taxpayers erected memorials to honor our veterans, rather than the actual veterans. Continue reading

Posted in 2nd Amendment, Law, National Security | 1 Comment
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